Even though we’ve never met and we’re not fast friends like you and your “buddy” Diane Sawyer, I feel comfortable calling you Cait because that’s what you said to do on the cover of Vanity Fair.
So, Cait, from one transgender girl to another, here’s the deal…
If you’re serious about spreading the good word on behalf of myself and others in the transgender community, shouldn’t you stop partying long enough to actually spread the good word?
I mean, in accepting the Arthur Ashe Award for Courage at the tinny, made-for-TV fluff event known as the ESPYs, you, the galaxy’s most glam trans girl, made a breathless vow that you would do everything in your power to “reshape the landscape of how transgender people are viewed and treated.”
An admirable crusade, that. Except you have an odd way of delivering the message.
It has been five days since you took hold of the till to “reshape” the landscape and, based on your activity to date…well, I hesitate to call you an attention-seeking diva with far too much time on your hands, but the rest of the world surely must view us transgender girls as a band of unsmiling, bar-hopping bimbos who flit to and fro about town with a body guard and camerman in tow and a celebrity at each elbow.
(ATTENTION WORLD: That is not what we’re like at all! Honest!)
I would like to tell the rest of the world to pretend that you aren’t really happening, Cait. Trouble is, we can’t ignore you, can we Lady Prance Alot? The media is having a feeding frenzy. They’re pigging out. You have become their all-you-can-eat buffet and they’ve invited us to belly up to the salad bar. Consider some of the headlines since you hopped on your high horse and spurred her into a full gallop:
Caitlyn Jenner Rocks Fierce Black Outfit with Leather Pants—See the Photos!
How True? Caitlyn Jenner is really going to set foot on Dancing with the Stars
Will Caitlyn Jenner and ‘girlfriend’ Candis Cayne share a kiss on new reality show I Am Cait?
EXCLUSIVE: Caitlyn Jenner Has Dinner Date With Naomi Watts In Malibu
Caitlyn Jenner Stuns in a Chic Wrap Dress and Gorgeous Hat (Naturally)
Caitlyn Jenner Has Trouble Walking In Heels: Sinks Into Ground At Racetrack
Caitlyn Jenner wears a plunging leather mini-dress as she leaves gay bar after partying until the early hours
Caitlyn Jenner bonds with Laverne Cox at a Private I Am Cait Screening: Pics
I’m sorry, Cait, but I think you might want to change the blades on the till, because you’re reshaping the transgender landscape like Donald Trump is reshaping personal relations with Latinos and war veterans in his bid for the White House. He’s an ass-clown starring in a Republican presidential wannabe sideshow and you’re a gross misrepresentation of transgender women. At least those I know.
Not that there’s anything wrong with you adorning yourself in outfits you’re apt to find in a fashion-challenged teenage girl’s closet, or pulling an all-nighter in a gay bar. I sometimes wear short skirts, although the hem is usually closer to my knee caps than my crotch (as much as I hate to sound catty, Cait, if I had your legs I wouldn’t be wearing anything that shed light on those wrinkled, knobby knees). I’ve also been known to pull the odd all-nighter—about 20 years ago!
Am I saying you should start acting your age, Cait? No. Heck, I’ll be 65 in four months, the same age as you, and I’m not sure how 65-year-old women are supposed to act. Age, after all, is just a number, and it should not dictate how we dress or behave. Clearly, you share that sentiment, otherwise you’d be governed by the natterings of a “they say” society that harrumphs and tsk-tsks at the sight of an older woman with a high hemline and late bedtime.
Normally, I would say, “You go, girl!” but you’re a different head of lettuce, party girl Cait.
You have positioned yourself as the great advocate of, and for, the transgender community. We are watching you. Listening to you. Waiting for you to deliver the message of acceptance, which, by the way, is far from original and might come at a cost of $100,000, or more, if an organization hires you to flap your pumped-up lips.
Before closing, I’ll remind you of something else you said the night you accepted the Ashe Award:
“For the people out there wondering what this is all about—whether it’s about courage or controversy of publicity—well, I’ll tell you what it’s all about. It’s about what happens from here.”
I don’t pretend to speak for anyone else in the transgender or gay collective, Cait, but I submit that what has happened from there is rather shoddy, and whatever message you had planned to deliver might already be long lost in the funnel cloud of your Kardashianism.
I hope I’m wrong. I hope you can still deliver the goods. But my fear is that you’re just a rich, 65-year-old transgender babe making up for lost time.
That would be such a waste. For you and for the community.
Call Me Patti