Sorry to break this to all you little Caitlettes out there, but, no, Ellen DeGeneres did not display bad manners earlier this week on the season premiere of her show, Ellen, when she sought your heroine’s opinion on same-sex marriage.
Nor was she out of line in challenging the half-baked notions dished by the transgender diva.
Since Caitlyn Jenner has chosen to declare herself lead vocalist for the trans community, apparently her views matter, as ill-informed as many of them have proven to be. It follows, therefore, that DeGeneres, or anyone seeking insight, might feel inclined to quiz the High Priestess in the Cult of Cait about same-sex marriage, which became legal across the Home of the Brave this summer. So, what say you, Kitty Cait?
“I have to admit that I remember 15 years ago, 20 years ago, whenever it was the whole gay marriage issue came up at first, I was not for it,” Jenner began. “I thought, I’m a traditionalist. I’m older than most people in the audience. I like tradition; and it’s always been between a man and a woman, and I’m thinking, I don’t quite get it.
“But as time goes on, like a lot of people on this issue, I’ve really changed thinking here, too. I don’t ever want to stand in front of anybody’s happiness. That’s not my job. If that word marriage is really, really that important to you, I can go with it.”
Well isn’t that just so considerate and thoughtful of her? If that word marriage is really, really important to all you gay brides and grooms out there in the land of “I do,” tradition be damned. You have the High Priestess’s blessing. So go for it. But that’s only if the word marriage is really, really important to you. If the word marriage is not really, really important to you, you can still go ahead and exchange vows, just don’t ask Kitty Cait to be your maid of honor.
Not surprisingly, this was a bit of a jaw-dropping revelation for DeGeneres, who happens to be a lesbian. And married. To another woman.
“It’s funny ’cause you’re still kind of a little not on board with it,” the gob-smacked host gasped.
“I’m on board,” Jenner insisted. “It’s the law of the land. So I feel like ya, I’m okay with that…”
Translation: Those pesky lawmakers went and trampled on my tradition, but that’s okay because I might decide one day that I’m a lesbian and I’ll want to date women. Maybe even marry one of ’em. So, ya, this stinks but I’ll hold my nose and go along with the law of the land and this and that.
I’m sure the august members of the U.S. Supreme Court will sleep better at night knowing Kitty Cait has their back.
Whatever, the DeGeneres-Jenner tete-a-tete did not play so well with some members of the LGBT coalition. Ellen has received a serious tsk-tsking. How dare she speak so irreverently to the High Priestess? Does she not realize she was dealing with no less a deity than the winner of the Arthur Ashe Award for Courage?
If anything, Ellen didn’t go far enough in her interrogation. She could have taken sport with Kitty Cait’s claim of being a traditionalist. A traditionalist? Well, sure. I mean, doesn’t everyone have three marriages, three divorces and 10 kids? And don’t all of Ellen’s guests have C-cup breasts and a penis? Isn’t it a long-held Olympic tradition that all decathlon champions transition into women 40 years after they stand on the top step of the podium?
But no. Ellen is a feel-good host. She’s there to dance, make people laugh and give everyone the warm-and-fuzzies by presenting her guests with money and her audience with gifts. In a word, it’s fluff. Still, I don’t think asking the High Priestess a pointed question makes her a she-devil.
Seriously. Are you for or against same-sex marriage? Yes or no. Alas, Jenner delivers a maybe so in the form of some wishy-washy mumble-jumble about accepting the law of the land.
As if that bit of Cait-speak didn’t do enough damage, she departed the Ellen set and went golfing with Today Show host Matt Lauer, whereupon she pooh-poohed the good people at GLAAD, a group that fosters acceptance, understanding and the advancement of equal rights for LGBT people.
Don’t you know that GLAAD was all wrong when it wrote the book on the correct usage of pronouns for transgender women and men?
“Now the community—GLAAD, all the people in the community—oh my god, you have to get the pronouns right,” Jenner said with more than a hint of sarcasm. “You have to do this. You have to do that. I’m much more tolerant than that.”
Well, excuuuuuse us. How trivial of any woman to expect to be referred to as she, her, miss or ma’am, rather than he, him, mister or sir. We have to lighten up, ladies! Gird our loins. If the High Priestess can deal with being called a dude, surely we can suck it up. After all, she’s a transgender leader, right?
I’m afraid it’s time for the High Priestess to get off the gab show circuit and return to her hermitage on the hill in Malibu to practise something my favorite author, Thich Nhat Hanh, promotes: If what you have to say is not more beautiful than silence, say nothing.