I worry about being objectified and harassed while Caitlyn Jenner is “figuring out what to wear”

Well, our girl Kitty Cait has done it again. Yup. Hurled up another hair ball.

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patti dawn swansson

This, of course, has become an uncomfortably commonplace occurance for Caitlyn Jenner, the transgender diva extraordinaire who, when last seen, was trying to make nice with Ellen DeGeneres but failing miserably at it because Kitty Cait’s narrative on same-sex marriage ran closer to a certain Kentucky county clerk’s truth than LGBT truth.

It was at that moment when I said a silent prayer that she would disappear for a time. Like about a year. Step away from the spotlight, girl. No more TV gab shows. No speaking engagements. Go live the transgender life. Learn. We’ll let you know when it’s safe to come back.

But no. Kitty Cait doesn’t do down low.

It isn’t her fault, mind you. I mean, the poor girl cannot step outside her house on the hill without the paparazzi poking a camera lens into her surgically sculpted face. Moreover, people seemingly cannot resist the urge to present the trans glam gal with awards because…well, because they believe it wonderfully brave of her to have finally put on a dress after 65 years of wearing the pants in the house.

First there was the Arthur Ashe Award for Courage. Next to go on the mantel at the Malibu mansion was a gimmicky something called the Teen Choice Award for Social Media, which I believe certifies her as the planet’s oldest selfie/texting diva. More recently, the ladies at Glamour magazine joined the fawning flock in the Cult of Cait by including the High Priestess on their roster of Women of the Year recipients.

Whereas the Ashe Award bred controversy and criticism, for both Jenner and ESPN, the Teen Choice thing created but a ripple because it was pure, Valley Girl fluff. The stuff really hit the fan, though, when she joined Glamour’s gaggle of laudable ladies.

It was too much to handle for one man, James Smith, whose bride, Moira, had been the only female among 23 New York City police officers to die in the 9/11 tragedy. For her heroism in saving countless lives in terrorist attacks on the World Trade Center twin towers on that horrible day in 2001, she was named Glamour Woman of the Year posthumously. Jenner receiving the same honor didn’t work for Smith, so the former NYC cop took his wife’s award off a shelf, loaded it in a box and shipped it back to Glamour.

Then it got worse.

After the Glamour gala, Jenner did the question-and-answer thing with Buzzfeed, and she was asked about the challenges of being female.

“The hardest part about being a woman is figuring out what to wear,” she replied.

Ooooops. Someone has lost the plot.

Of the many challengeable utterances that have escaped from Kitty Cait’s trout pout lips, this surely ranks highest on the ditz chart. It was stupid. Totally dumb. It’s almost beyond belief that someone who has made a career of public speaking can, at times, be so dense, so sparse of reasoned thought. Not surprisingly, it was met with shock and awe, with women around the globe lashing out in fitful fury.

“Woman of the year?” actor Rose McGowan posted on her Facebook page. “Not by a long fucking shot.”

Others offered a check list of issues more pressing than adornments: Misogyny. Pregnancy. Balancing a career and motherhood. Fighting societal stereotyping. Vulnerability to crime. Non-equal pay for equal work. Menstruation. PMS. Infertility. Being objectified. Childbirth. Menopause. Fending off creepy men on the street. Being a single mother. Unemployment. Living in poverty.

But wait. Let’s take a deep breath here.

Prior to her Bruce-to-Caitlyn transition, Jenner had never met a transgender female, let alone lived as a woman. Jenner has been living female for what, six-seven months? She’s a newby. And it has been, much like her male existence, a life of wealth and white privilege. She has no life experience as an earthy woman. No point of reference. She cannot possibly relate to anything more significant than lipstick and nail polish. Given that she appears to be constantly surrounded by a squadron of hangers-on that include bodyguards, she is not exposed to the everyday perils and fears of walking the streets alone. Or being alone on a hotel elevator late at night when two well-lubricated men step inside.

So, really, what did anyone expect Kitty Cait to say when asked about the challenges of being female?

Jenner’s reality is clearly at odds with that of most women I know, natural-born or transgender, and I might think it shallow. You might think it shallow. But it is her truth and she’s not shy about owning it and sharing it.

I just wish she had a filter between her brain and her lips.

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