Hide the women and lock up the liquor and drugs—Heisman Trophy washout Johnny Manziel is coming to a Canadian Football League stadium near you in 2018.
If, that is, he can resist the urge to rough up more women.
I’m not sure what it is with the Hamilton Tiger-Cats and shady dudes, but Tabbies bossman Kent Austin seems determined to operate a halfway house in the Hammer.
I mean, his general manager, Eric Tillman, once copped to a charge of sexual assault on his family’s teenage baby sitter. His starting quarterback, Jeremiah Masoli, once spent three months in a California juvenile detention facility for his role in strong-arm robberies, he was suspended by the University of Oregon for his involvement in a frat-house theft, and the Ducks punted him from the team for driving with a suspended license and possession of pot while on probation. Austin attempted to bring Art Briles on board as offensive co-ordinator this past summer, despite the unrepentant former Baylor University head coach’s link to a team-wide sex crime spree that included gang rape. And now we have Manziel, woman-beater and party boy extraordinaire whose name has appeared on a police blotter and court docket more than once.
I swear, if Austin wants to keep tabs on his employees, all he has to do is turn on Judge Judy or Hot Bench.
Manziel, of course, is not a done deal. The Ticats have until Nov. 30 to sign him, but CFL commish Randy Ambrosie has given them the okie dokie to reel in the former Texas A&M quarterback.
“After an extensive process of due diligence and an in-person meeting with Mr. Manziel, the commissioner has decided that he will not register any contract for Mr. Manziel for this season,” the league said a statement to news snoops. “However, Mr. Manziel will be eligible to sign a contract for the 2018 season and, if Mr. Manziel meets certain conditions that have been spelled out by the commissioner, the CFL will register that contract.”
No specifics on those “certain conditions,” but I believe we’re on solid ground when we suggest keeping his fists off women is at the top of the list.
What kind of dude are we dealing with here? Well, his father, Paul, has called Manziel his “druggie” son and hopes he “goes to jail.” He’s been suspended (four games) for violating the National Football League substance-abuse policy. Most disturbing, he twice roughed up his former girlfriend, Colleen Crowley. There was no arrest after the initial incident in Ohio (he smacked her and pushed her head against a car window), but he doubled down on physical abuse last January in Dallas.
According to Crowley’s court affidavit, Manziel forcibly restrained her in a hotel room and their spat spilled outside to a valet station. He forced her into a car and a valet turned a deaf ear to her pleas for assistance (“Please don’t let him take me. I’m scared for my life!”). He smacked her in the left ear, then drove to her vehicle at a Dallas bar. He slid behind the steering wheel and, when Crowley attempted to flee, Manziel stopped, grabbed her by the hair, dragged her back inside the car and whacked her again. He threatened to kill them both. He eventually fled on foot and police used a helicopter to hunt him down.
Crowley was granted a protective order that remains in effect until February 2018, and Manziel was indicted by a Dallas County Grand Jury on a charge of misdemeanor assault. An agreement to dismiss the charge was reached last January, whereby the former Cleveland Browns QB must keep his nose clean for a year, and attend domestic violence and substance-abuse programs.
This is the kind of guy the Hamilton Tiger-Cats want and the CFL is willing to let in?
Hey, I’m all for the league’s diversity program, but I didn’t think it was meant to include the hiring of men who beat up women. Just say no to Johnny Manziel. It isn’t too late.